Horror Vacuii

This post is about the terror brought about by astronomy. Just personal considerations and feelings: nothing to be taken very seriously and born from the desire of sharing with others (who might feel the same way but never dared to admit). I recently discovered that, more and more as I am getting of age, I like small rooms. When I am outdoors, I prefer to be in the woods rather than in an open field or over the sea. Also, I tend to concentrate better when it is cloudy. I tried to analyze these feelings more closely, hoping not to find out I was getting paranoid ;-).

But I think I finally found out where these feelings come from. It is the fear of emptiness. When the sky is clear and the night comes, all of a sudden I am exposed to the inconceivable depths of space. And this makes me feel lost, cast away in the most extreme way. It is like being on the edge of a bottomless precipice.

Clouds act like a curtain. They do not remove the vacuum behind them. But at least they hide it, making me feel more “at home”. So do small rooms (like my office here, or my small working room at home). But I am aware this is only an illusion, for I clearly stay on a pinnacle, ready to fall.

And this notwithstanding I grew up with the concept of an immense universe. I cannot image what it must have been when, all of a sudden, somebody started arguing that the universe was much more extended (unimaginably more!) than mankind had ever suspected.

I my professional life empty spaces are every day’s business. And this blade-running path, half way between terror and excitement, is astounding.