So as I mentioned yesterday, getting visas was a whole bunch of fun.
I’m heading off to CERN on 17 November and am going to be there for about a month. My husband, Chris, is coming over when he finishes work on 12 Dec. We’re going to spend a few days there in Switzerland and then we’re flying to London on 16 Dec to spend Christmas and New Year in the UK.
Now, unfortunately, being South African means that we need to get visas for all these places. Actually we never used to need a visa for the UK or Switzerland, but thanks to our corrupt Home Affairs department issuing fake IDs to people left, right and center, we now need a visa for the UK. And Switzerland went and decided to become all Schengen on us in December last year. So.
Now in general I find the concept of needing to get a visa wholly annoying, and when you couple that to the procedures and forms and lists of documents and 3 months of bank statements and general schlep that you have to do, well let’s just say it’s not pretty.
The UK visa came first. Chris is way more organised than me and had his done a month and a half ago (and he only leaves in a month!) so I had a bit of a buffer about what to expect.
I had thought the form for the US visa was a bit, er, overenthusiastic. Well they could learn something from the Brits: ”How much do you earn per month after tax?” “What are your monthly expenses?” “How much ‘free money’ do you have per month?” “How many people do you know in the UK?” “List their names, addresses and telephone numbers.” “Do you have any traffic fines?” and of course the good old “Are you a terrorist?”-alike bombardment.
Luckily once you fill all that in, prebooked your appointment, paid, signed in, taken a ticket, waited for your number to be called and actually got to the interview, they’re not so stressed. I was a bit worried because I didn’t have a copy of my travel insurance with me - apparently the Diners Club or AIG or whatever’s cables had been stolen and they had no telecomms, so they couldn’t email it to me (T.I.A. folks). UK visa lady was like “Don’t worry, you don’t really need it anyway. Let’s just photocopy your medical aid card over there quickly just in case.”
Not so Switzerland. Schengen states are all about the travel insurance. In fact, while I was at the Swiss embassy I heard one of the women lambasting an applicant because her travel insurance started the day after she left (ie the day her plane landed). Swiss visa lady: “So if the plane crashes you can’t claim. Planes crash all the time, you know. I wouldn’t take the risk.”
Sheesh.
Ah, the Swiss visa. This one required a trip to Pretoria, some 60-odd km of traffic filled highway away. The GPS then takes us to the Tanzanian embassy instead of the Swiss one. Luckily there was a very nice gate guard who, while not knowing where the Swiss building was, had an extremely useful book that listed all the embassies’ addresses. He even called me back as I was walking away to suggest I take their phone number just in case we got lost. Bless.
Well, we got there and had everything necessary and more (as you do) except a photocopy of our passports. Which resulted in a wasted trip to Pretoria, because apparently these guys do not believe in photocopiers.
Still, to make our trip not completely worthless, Swiss visa lady (a different one to plane-crasher above) goes at our collection with a pink highlighter, to check if we’ve got everything else we need. Apparently my university, after having paid for my plane tickets, depositing a per diem advance into my bank account, and me having bank statements showing this, writing “Mrs Lee has sufficient funds for her trip” is not good enough. It’s got to say “The university is paying for all Mrs Lee’s expenses” instead. And then they don’t want the bank statements. “Show me the money!” is probably more effective, but whatever. It also would have been useful to get somebody who actually knew what CERN was. Holding copies of my flight ticket and CERN hostel booking she asks “So you’re staying in Zurich then?” Yes, because that’s exactly why I am flying in and out of Geneva. Of course I didn’t actually say that, the last thing you want to do is piss off the person who is holding all power over you and your trip.
(When I went back the next day I plucked up the courage to ask plane-crasher lady, who was helping me this time, if she knew what CERN was. “Of course I do!” she says. “Dan Brown wrote about it!”
…
I’ll take that as a win.)
Nevertheless it’s all done now, I get to collect my passport from Pretoria on Friday. And it was free, because I’m going for research. Score.
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